Game-IV

General Boards => PBP Games => Informal Games => Topic started by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 06:51:44 AM

Title: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 06:51:44 AM
This Thread is the Game Thread. To get to the OOC Thread Click Here (http://game-iv.com/index.php?topic=386)

Welcome to the "* of the IV", This Informal Game is a game based around the popular * of the IV PbP games where you create an Empire/Kingdom and focus on their every move. During this game, you can expect it to be non-linear with comedic posts around every corner. Try to one-up your aggressors, play out a parallel universe, or maybe even mock your Frienemies in an OOC based environment. In this game, it is perfectly fine to merge Eot-IV and Kot-IV together in your posts. Maybe have some aliens invade that Kingdom known as the Crusader States. In this game there are no rules and anything goes! There is no such thing as being too overpowered!



RULES

1. Have Fun
2. Try to be as unique and funny as possible
3. Try to stay within basic PbP posting guidelines (atleast do a full sentence)
4. Phoenix > Gryphon's
5. Stay within the forum rules


LINKS

Empires of the IV (http://game-iv.com/index.php?topic=63.msg663#msg663)
Kingdoms of the IV (http://game-iv.com/index.php?topic=371.msg15199#msg15199)


Now, without further ado, LETS BEGIN
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 28, 2012, 07:20:42 AM
King Richard the Chickenheart looked around his room in confusion. Something seemed out of place. He went to look out his window. "Odd" he wondered "I do not recall there being two moons...nor those strange wilderbeasts...or those flying things...certainly not those amusingly shaped mountains."

As he looked on, the rest of the Kingdom too woke up and looked in confusion. What strange land was this?
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 12:45:03 PM
Emir Issa II woke up to the sound of a digital alarm clock singing Tik Tok by Kesha, somehow knowing how to hit the snooze button despite never even seeing an alarm clock before.

He got out of his golden jewel-encrusted bed with a groan, before suddenly realizing what he had just done.

"What in Yarmook is that thing?!" Gilgamesh shouted, springing up from his bed and staring at the digital alarm clock like it was some sort of demonic device

He instantly summoned his golden armor, along with a giant axe, and sliced the digital alarm clock -along with the wooden table that it was on- in half. "Was it some sort of disguised jinni? Or did that whore Ishtar set up a magical prank?" He wondered, pacing around the room

Soon, he noticed that it was night; which was odd, considering he was awake almost the entire night yesterday. Looking outside of the window, he found that there was a gigantic heart-shaped moon in the sky along with big mechanical being flying in the sky with glowing wings.

"I have a feeling I'm not in Derris Kharlan anymore..."
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 28, 2012, 06:28:35 PM
Emir Issa II woke up to the sound of a digital alarm clock singing Tik Tok by Kesha, somehow knowing how to hit the snooze button despite never even seeing an alarm clock before.

He got out of his golden jewel-encrusted bed with a groan, before suddenly realizing what he had just done.

"What in Yarmook is that thing?!" Gilgamesh shouted, springing up from his bed and staring at the digital alarm clock like it was some sort of demonic device

He instantly summoned his golden armor, along with a giant axe, and sliced the digital alarm clock -along with the wooden table that it was on- in half. "Was it some sort of disguised jinni? Or did that whore Ishtar set up a magical prank?" He wondered, pacing around the room

Soon, he noticed that it was night; which was odd, considering he was awake almost the entire night yesterday. Looking outside of the window, he found that there was a gigantic heart-shaped moon in the sky along with big mechanical being flying in the sky with glowing wings.

"I have a feeling I'm not in Derris Kharlan anymore..."

King George XIV woke up from all the ruckus caused by the Emir.

"Wha-!? Who are you!? What are you doing in my Royal Bedchamber!? And why did you destroy this alarm clock!"

King George looked beside him, at the rumpled covers "Were you sleeping in my bed...while I was still in it!?"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 06:46:44 PM
King George XIV woke up from all the ruckus caused by the Emir.

"Wha-!? Who are you!? What are you doing in my Royal Bedchamber!? And why did you destroy this alarm clock!"

King George looked beside him, at the rumpled covers "Were you sleeping in my bed...while I was still in it!?"
Suddenly the door to the room opened, and on the other side what looked to be a Real Estate Agent with his head turned towards a young couple "And you see here, this is the Master Bedr.." Turning back to the room to see the two men inside of the bed. "THAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THIS HOUSE!" he yelled before taking out two knives and throwing them at the headboard behind King George and Emir
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 07:06:17 PM
King George XIV woke up from all the ruckus caused by the Emir.

"Wha-!? Who are you!? What are you doing in my Royal Bedchamber!? And why did you destroy this alarm clock!"

King George looked beside him, at the rumpled covers "Were you sleeping in my bed...while I was still in it!?"
"You should be happy that an Emir such as myself would even consider sleeping in the same bed as you, mongrel!" Issa said "And that was you who tried to assassinate me with that devilish device?!" The Emir shouted, bringing up his axe

Suddenly the door to the room opened, and on the other side what looked to be a Real Estate Agent with his head turned towards a young couple "And you see here, this is the Master Bedr.." Turning back to the room to see the two men inside of the bed. "THAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THIS HOUSE!" he yelled before taking out two knives and throwing them at the headboard behind King George and Emir
"Why in Babylon does a real estate agent have knives?! Mongrel, let's put our differences aside for now!" The Emir shouted to George, grabbing him and jumping out of the window with him in tow

...From the 5th floor.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: wisekill1 on April 28, 2012, 07:14:18 PM
As they where falling down the to the ground they noticed King Lami the singer from the kingdom of Praof singing in front of a big audience. They fell right in front of him.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 28, 2012, 07:26:37 PM
"You should be happy that an Emir such as myself would even consider sleeping in the same bed as you, mongrel!" Issa said "And that was you who tried to assassinate me with that devilish device?!" The Emir shouted, bringing up his axe
 "Why in Babylon does a real estate agent have knives?! Mongrel, let's put our differences aside for now!" The Emir shouted to George, grabbing him and jumping out of the window with him in tow

...From the 5th floor.

"Mongrel!" shouted King George "How dare you filth!"

They then fell all the way, both yelling, before landing in a pile of hippies, in front of King Lami.

"What the hell man!" one of the bruised hippies yelled.

"By Saint George! Vile hippies! I shall slay you all for your impertinence!" yelled King George, before pulling out his Saber and doing battle with the hippie horde.

King Lami looked upon this scene with curiosity.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 07:31:58 PM
"Mongrel!" shouted King George "How dare you filth!"

They then fell all the way, both yelling, before landing in a pile of hippies, in front of King Lami.

"What the hell man!" one of the bruised hippies yelled.

"By Saint George! Vile hippies! I shall slay you all for your impertinence!" yelled King George, before pulling out his Saber and doing battle with the hippie horde.

King Lami looked upon this scene with curiosity.
Looking up, the group noticed the real-estate agent looking at them through the window above shaking there fist before jumping out after them wearing some sort of flying device in his feet "YOUR GOING TO DIE INTRUDERS!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: wisekill1 on April 28, 2012, 07:35:30 PM
"Mongrel!" shouted King George "How dare you filth!"

They then fell all the way, both yelling, before landing in a pile of hippies, in front of King Lami.

"What the hell man!" one of the bruised hippies yelled.

"By Saint George! Vile hippies! I shall slay you all for your impertinence!" yelled King George, before pulling out his Saber and doing battle with the hippie horde.

King Lami looked upon this scene with curiosity.

"Finally, reinforcements!" King Lami shouted, they where going to eat me if I stopped singing, but now I will take part in the battle of hippie hill!"

He drew his two-handed sword and charged to the side of King George, "I'll give you a fief if we survive this peasant!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 07:38:39 PM
"Mongrel!" shouted King George "How dare you filth!"

They then fell all the way, both yelling, before landing in a pile of hippies, in front of King Lami.

"What the hell man!" one of the bruised hippies yelled.

"By Saint George! Vile hippies! I shall slay you all for your impertinence!" yelled King George, before pulling out his Saber and doing battle with the hippie horde.

King Lami looked upon this scene with curiosity.
"How dare you 'hippies' pollute my air with your foul hashish-smelling breath! Gates of Babylon!" Issa shouted, pulling out a giant chainsaw/musket/flamethrower/quantum particle gatling laser hybrid from an orange portal and aiming it towards the hippies

"Eat fiery death! Muhashishin!" Issa shouted, firing upon the hippies with his gigantic weapon and destroying the entire building wing that was behind them
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 07:42:24 PM
"Finally, reinforcements!" King Lami shouted, they where going to eat me if I stopped singing, but now I will take part in the battle of hippie hill!"

He drew his two-handed sword and charged to the side of King George, "I'll give you a fief if we survive this peasant!"
"An Emir does not settle for a mere fief, mongrel! I'll take your money, half of your kingdom, and your treasures; I'd ask for your wife, but she's already mine." Issa said with a laugh, firing upon the hippies with glee

Looking up, the group noticed the real-estate agent looking at them through the window above shaking there fist before jumping out after them wearing some sort of flying device in his feet "YOUR GOING TO DIE INTRUDERS!"
"Son of a Khaneeth..."
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 07:44:11 PM
The real estate agent landed behind them holding what happened to be a gun that shot lasers, pointing it directly at the group. "You just cost me the sale of my life! PREPARE TO DIE!" pulling the trigger
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: wisekill1 on April 28, 2012, 07:45:00 PM
"An Emir does not settle for a mere fief, mongrel! I'll take your money, half of your kingdom, and your treasures; I'd ask for your wife, but she's already mine." Issa said with a laugh, firing upon the hippies with glee
"uhh, my wife is dead..." Lami returned to him rather shocked.
 
He also blocked the lasers with his sword like a jedi.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 28, 2012, 07:59:52 PM
"uhh, my wife is dead..." Lami returned to him rather shocked.
 
He also blocked the lasers with his sword like a jedi.

Suddenly a Cyborg Space Dragon appeared, firing antimatter gatlings, nuclear missiles and breathing out plasma at the hippie horde.

"Dragoncus! My faithful steed! I knew you would come to my aid!"

The hippies didn't stand a chance, their bodies making a mountain of which the trio stood upon. Suddenly, the Real Estate Agent came at them with a Battle Axe.

"Did you forget me!? Huh!?"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 08:06:42 PM
"uhh, my wife is dead..." Lami returned to him rather shocked.
 
He also blocked the lasers with his sword like a jedi.
"Really? The woman labeled 'Lami's wife' back at my harem says otherwise." The Emir said with a laugh, continuing laughing as he chainsawed an armored hippie in half

The real estate agent landed behind them holding what happened to be a gun that shot lasers, pointing it directly at the group. "You just cost me the sale of my life! PREPARE TO DIE!" pulling the trigger
"Your gun may fire lasers, but mine fires quantum lasers!" Issa exclaimed, aiming his massive weapon at the agent, "Eat QCLs real estate mongrel!" He shouted, quantumly firing his quantum gatling laser while wondering what exactly the word 'Quantum' meant and why it made everything so incredibly powerful
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: wisekill1 on April 28, 2012, 08:10:52 PM
Suddenly a Cyborg Space Dragon appeared, firing antimatter gatlings, nuclear missiles and breathing out plasma at the hippie horde.

"Dragoncus! My faithful steed! I knew you would come to my aid!"

The hippies didn't stand a chance, their bodies making a mountain of which the trio stood upon. Suddenly, the Real Estate Agent came at them with a Battle Axe.

"Did you forget me!? Huh!?"

"That's your steed?!" Lami yelled over the sound of the quantum gatling laser. "I brought a horse with me!"




 "Really? The woman labeled 'Lami's wife' back at my harem says otherwise." The Emir said with a laugh, continuing laughing as he chainsawed an armored hippie in half

I fear you've been betrayed, I killed her myself!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 08:14:46 PM
The real Estate agent got hit by the quantum lasers, flying backwards out of the area.

Meanwhile, the battle of the hippies  had just been finishing up, blood spilled everywhere. Just as the group settled, they started to hear sounds in the sky, looking up they saw vast amounts of  flying ships in the sky, with a visible heart shaped moon in the sky
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 28, 2012, 08:15:57 PM
The real Estate agent got hit by the quantum lasers, flying backwards out of the area.

Meanwhile, the battle of the hippies  had just been finishing up, blood spilled everywhere. Just as the group settled, they started to hear sounds in the sky, looking up they saw vast amounts of  flying ships in the sky, with a visible heart shaped moon in the sky

"Come commoners! Climb onto Dragoncus! He will take us to safety!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 08:25:48 PM
The real Estate agent got hit by the quantum lasers, flying backwards out of the area.

Meanwhile, the battle of the hippies  had just been finishing up, blood spilled everywhere. Just as the group settled, they started to hear sounds in the sky, looking up they saw vast amounts of  flying ships in the sky, with a visible heart shaped moon in the sky
"Verily I say! Advance upon us, mongrels!" Issa shouted, subtitles magically appearing beneath him that said 'Come at me bro!'

"Come commoners! Climb onto Dragoncus! He will take us to safety!"
"But that mongrel is filthy! And it smells of dung!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: wisekill1 on April 28, 2012, 08:28:49 PM
"Verily I say! Advance upon us, mongrels!" Issa shouted, subtitles magically appearing beneath him that said 'Come at me bro!'
 "But that mongrel is filthy! And it smells of dung!"

"Aye, well said peasant! The ruler of the glorious kingdom of Praof will flie for nothing!"

"I say this, Come at US bro!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 28, 2012, 08:37:27 PM
"Verily I say! Advance upon us, mongrels!" Issa shouted, subtitles magically appearing beneath him that said 'Come at me bro!'
 "But that mongrel is filthy! And it smells of dung!"

"How dare you say such things of Dragoncus! He is a shining example of cleanliness! That smell of dung is simply hippie blood!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 28, 2012, 08:39:14 PM
The three waited 5 mintues, but sadly the flying ships didn't come any closer, but stay at the same distance, peacefully flying ahead

"The hell you doing?" A blueskinned alien with a wierd symbol on the back of his hand, wearing a hawaiian shirt replied
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 28, 2012, 08:43:38 PM
The three waited 5 mintues, but sadly the flying ships didn't come any closer, but stay at the same distance, peacefully flying ahead

"The hell you doing?" A blueskinned alien with a wierd symbol on the back of his hand, wearing a hawaiian shirt replied
"It's a jinni! Take cover mongrels!" Issa shouted, blowing the alien's left hand off with his musket
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 29, 2012, 12:31:08 AM
"It's a jinni! Take cover mongrels!" Issa shouted, blowing the alien's left hand off with his musket

Dragoncus then stirred, before eating the strange alien whole.

"Dragoncus! No! Spit that creature out! You don't know where it's been, or if it's even healthy for you!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Tobbs on April 29, 2012, 12:31:41 AM
Suddenly an oversized armored car with They see me rollin' by Chamillionaire playing loudly came crashing through the still hording hippies, spraying blood and teeth all over the place as the tree-huggers got crushed under the wheels. The car drifted and stopped with its side turned to the group of protagonists, spraying gore all over them. A hatch on top of the tank-like car opened and up popped Mihaj Tzölem from the Shazcoi. "SUP!"he screamed with a raised hand.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on April 29, 2012, 03:01:45 AM
Dragoncus then stirred, before eating the strange alien whole.

"Dragoncus! No! Spit that creature out! You don't know where it's been, or if it's even healthy for you!"
The Fe'Juk came out with no trouble, looking disgusted "WHAT THE HELL!" He replied "I'm going to go straight to the Unanian Embassy and tell them to throw you all in prison!" waving his arm in the air as he began to float, flying away into the distance. Within minutes alarms went off throughout the city, speaker-phones telling of the criminals location
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 29, 2012, 03:45:21 AM
The Fe'Juk came out with no trouble, looking disgusted "WHAT THE HELL!" He replied "I'm going to go straight to the Unanian Embassy and tell them to throw you all in prison!" waving his arm in the air as he began to float, flying away into the distance. Within minutes alarms went off throughout the city, speaker-phones telling of the criminals location

King George turned to the others "All right, now everyone on Dragoncus! He won't eat you, and I don't care what he smells like! You, Tzolem! Get on too!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Tobbs on April 29, 2012, 10:46:53 AM
King George turned to the others "All right, now everyone on Dragoncus! He won't eat you, and I don't care what he smells like! You, Tzolem! Get on too!"
"Nope.avi."Mihaj said, before his face twisted into the grotesque grin that was the Troll face, and then shot off like a rocket in the sky riding something that looked like a mix between a cat and a poptart.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on April 29, 2012, 12:47:58 PM
King George turned to the others "All right, now everyone on Dragoncus! He won't eat you, and I don't care what he smells like! You, Tzolem! Get on too!"
"I would have preferred getting on the majestic-looking toast feline, at least it wasn't a mongrel." Issa said, teleporting onto Dragoncus
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on April 30, 2012, 02:11:49 AM
"I would have preferred getting on the majestic-looking toast feline, at least it wasn't a mongrel." Issa said, teleporting onto Dragoncus

As the others got on, Dragoncus took off into space. King George commented "How odd we didn't die from suffocation yet. Normally there is no air in space."

Suddenly the TF2 Heavy blipped into existence next to Issa, yelling "Sandvich!" before punching him off into space.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on May 03, 2012, 07:31:01 PM
As the others got on, Dragoncus took off into space. King George commented "How odd we didn't die from suffocation yet. Normally there is no air in space."

Suddenly the TF2 Heavy blipped into existence next to Issa, yelling "Sandvich!" before punching him off into space.
Issa suddenly turned into golden dust particles, before reforming behind the Heavy; stabbing him with a katana.

"You gave me a black eye! You mongrel!" Issa shouted
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 04, 2012, 01:53:29 AM
Issa suddenly turned into golden dust particles, before reforming behind the Heavy; stabbing him with a katana.

"You gave me a black eye! You mongrel!" Issa shouted

The Heavy turned around, already dying, tears in his eyes. He said with faltering breaths "All I...wanted...was Sandvich" before falling over, turning into space dust and floating away.

King Lami burst out crying "That was...the most beautiful...and most cruel thing I ever saw!" he said before burying his face on King George, crying uncontrollably.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: True Evangelion on May 04, 2012, 05:36:15 AM
>>MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF EVIL<<

A bunch of celestial beings were arguing with each other. Some from one world, some from another. All trying to think of plans to ruin everyone else's fun.

"FOR THE LAST TIME NEAH! PLANTING TERRIBLE MUSIC INSIDE THEIR BRAIN IS NOT A GOOD PLAN!" One said.

"What about your's!  Your plan was to buy out their empires by cloning a single unit of money!" Another said

One stood up and banged on the table, with a glass of wine in hand.

"Everyone calm down! Silence! Satanail! Pariah! Stop Hitting each other with your glasses!"

The announcer sat back down, hands folded

"As we all know, we can't stand the fun and hilarity those pesky 'protagonists' have, so our common goal is to eliminate them. Necrois! Do you have any plans?"

A being with a black halo and devil wings leaned back, placing his feet on the table

"I have none, I really can't do anything anymore anyway after being perma-sealed by those damn angelicytes. I'm just here for the entertainment"

The announcer facepalmed.

"Anyone else?"

One person stood up

"I have a plan!"

"Sammael, what is it?"



Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on May 07, 2012, 08:05:09 PM
Suddenly the others noticed that the roof itself was being breached, with multiple holes being made.

"Damn! These rebels are persistant! We now appear to be surrounded." growled the Gu'ush, preparing for the next wave.

The holes became breached, and the others instantly aimed their weapons up, but were surprised to see instead of rebels Commonwealth Marines rapelling down, firing as they went. The remaining Croiz attackers were momentarily stunned...which proved fatal as the others concentrated their fire, pinning them down.

The Marine Captain yelled "Secure the delegates and neutralize the hostile intruders! Go! Go! Go!" as the Marines took up superior firing positions, while others moved to support the bodyguards directly.
Suddenly as soon as the hole was made, Oxygen rushed out of the cabin, Depressurizing the entire ship, sending the marines flying towards the star systems sun
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 09, 2012, 07:07:21 AM
Suddenly as soon as the hole was made, Oxygen rushed out of the cabin, Depressurizing the entire ship, sending the marines flying towards the star systems sun

Emir Issa looked upon the scene with curiosity. While he was doing that, King George grabbed the crying King Lami, and smacked him saying "Get ahold of yourself King Lami!" before smacking him around some for good measure.

"Gah! Alright, I'm stable! Sane! I've stopped crying!"

"Good, now pay attention. I want to watch these men and see how long their oxygen lasts."

The others watched on, before seeing another strange sight. Emperor Justinian was propelled out of the station, along with his Crusaders, swords raised high.

Emperor Justinian could be heard saying in the distance "Come Brothers! Let us float on to glory and slay this vile beast!"

"I say" said King George "Are they trying to attack those poor fellows?"

"Of course not Mongrel" said Emir Issa "They're attack that giant thing out there" he said, pointing to a large object to their right.

The giant object was none other than Fruit gently-carresser Prime.

(http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/4344/1774702-juicebot_02_large.png)
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: LordNecross on May 09, 2012, 07:22:38 AM

The others watched on, before seeing another strange sight. Emperor Justinian was propelled out of the station, along with his Crusaders, swords raised high.

Emperor Justinian could be heard saying in the distance "Come Brothers! Let us float on to glory and slay this vile beast!"

"I say" said King George "Are they trying to attack those poor fellows?"

"Of course not Mongrel" said Emir Issa "They're attack that giant thing out there" he said, pointing to a large object to their right.

The giant object was none other than Fruit gently-carresser Prime.

(http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/4344/1774702-juicebot_02_large.png)

The Crusaders began to sing Hymns of Glory about their leader, and how far up he could plant his boot in any Enemy's ass.

"Take this and Take that!" The Emperor swung his sword, which Destroyed entire planets as he swung the blade.

"Damnable Beast! I Seem to be having some trouble hitting this massive creature....All those innocent Croiz lives that were extinguished.....I didn't mean to cut those planets up." The Emperor said as he shed a tear thinking of the poor Xenos, and how they would have to find some where else to breed like rabbits.

What the Emperor didn't know is that the Planets were also Fruit, and The Fruit gently-carresser made its way toward the giant Slices, as it began to violate the Innocent fruit with its pelvic thrusts.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 09, 2012, 07:29:48 AM
The Crusaders began to sing Hymns of Glory about their leader, and how far up he could plant his boot in any Enemy's ass.

"Take this and Take that!" The Emperor swung his sword, which Destroyed entire planets as he swung the blade.

"Damnable Beast! I Seem to be having some trouble hitting this massive creature....All those innocent Croiz lives that were extinguished.....I didn't mean to cut those planets up." The Emperor said as he shed a tear thinking of the poor Xenos, and how they would have to find some where else to breed like rabbits.

What the Emperor didn't know is that the Planets were also Fruit, and The Fruit gently-carresser made its way toward the giant Slices, as it began to violate the Innocent fruit with its pelvic thrusts.

The Emperor looked upon this with horror "What vile act is this!? How dare this damnable beast violate such innocent fruit-planets! Come brothers! Let us first castrate, then destroy this abomination!"

The Emperor and his Crusaders floated towards Fruit gently-carresser Prime, yelling defiance and vengeance. However, a swarm of Fruit gently-carressers the size of a galactic arm flew to their master's defence, engulfing the Emperor and his Crusaders.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: LordNecross on May 10, 2012, 05:11:33 AM
The Emperor and his Crusaders floated towards Fruit gently-carresser Prime, yelling defiance and vengeance. However, a swarm of Fruit gently-carressers the size of a galactic arm flew to their master's defence, engulfing the Emperor and his Crusaders.
((This song must be played FOREVER!)) (http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/480100)
The Emperor said one thing," I'D LIKE SOME POUND CAKE!"  One of the Paladins said the rights of Holy Pound Cake, and the Pound cake was summoned.

Justinian Om Nom'd to his hearts Content, then a Godly Power fist appeared on each hand as he began punching though the massive amounts of robot, the Power of the Pound Cake Flowing through him, the Blessed Mana from Heaven.

He Punched his way straight through as he headed toward the Massive Fruit gently-carressing machine, flying through space at high speeds.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 10, 2012, 08:25:34 PM
((This song must be played FOREVER!)) (http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/480100)
The Emperor said one thing," I'D LIKE SOME POUND CAKE!"  One of the Paladins said the rights of Holy Pound Cake, and the Pound cake was summoned.

Justinian Om Nom'd to his hearts Content, then a Godly Power fist appeared on each hand as he began punching though the massive amounts of robot, the Power of the Pound Cake Flowing through him, the Blessed Mana from Heaven.

He Punched his way straight through as he headed toward the Massive Fruit gently-carressing machine, flying through space at high speeds.

Suddenly, the Emperor saw ten million light years away, a little alien shopping at a little market. A vile Xenos! But then, the Emperor looked behind him, and saw another horror. Coming at high speeds towards him was vile democracy.

The Emperor had to make a choice...fight the vile Fruit gently-carressers, the vile Xenos or the vile Democracy. The Emperor was torn on what to do.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: mikethor007 on May 10, 2012, 08:34:38 PM
So torn was The Emperor that he divided himself into three equal parts with a third of his power. One went after the Fruit gently-carressers, one after the vile Xenos and one after the vile Democracy. Unbeknownst to him, his power had also been divided by three. Not to mention that all of his part now had the height of a dwarf.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on May 29, 2012, 03:54:46 PM
"Sir, Orion Company ready to deploy!"

Nelson nodded "Launch!" he ordered.

Down below decks the pilots saw the greenlight flash on, before the whirling sound of the atmosphere being evacuated filled the area, before dissapating.

"Orion Company, you are cleared for launch. Godspeed out there."

"Confirmed control, deploying now."

The dropships left their launch bay, and along with the other strike teams, headed for the Artifact.

The Emperor addressed his squad of elite Juggernauts from the Crimson Angel Chapters first company.

"Brothers! We now deploy against the Xenos! The foul creatures known as the Shadows! Their Evil has no limits and now we bring the light of the Lord Almighty to them! We shall send them in the abyss, as Hell shall not have them and neither will Heaven! This is the curse all Xenos Suffer! Now We go on to purge them for the good of all the Faithful, for the Good of Humanity!"  Justinian raised his crackling powerfist into the air as the Juggernaughts gave a shout of exaltation to the Lord.

They Boarded a Drop pod, The Strike Cruiser got in close to the Artifact and fired the pod at high speeds to the Artifact where it would impact and offload its dangerous cargo.

Play This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuSsqSw361U#)
"This is it The chance we have been waiting for!" A MIDAF Alliance representative responded over FleetComm "MIDAF Alliance out! We Will see you on the other side" A Fe'juk finished over Armada communication as pods shot off the sides of every MIDAF Alliance vessel, it switching to auto pilot to auto-pilot, merging with FleetComm allowing the AI's within FleetComm to take command and still enact war upon the Shadow ships in space. Rivera came up on communications "My Fleet is ready to board. I'll see you all on the ground" "Alright, We'll keep you covered up here" Wallace replied "We wont let any shadows time to board the structure. I'll see you when your done." "Noted, Sir" Rivera finished, his entire fleet lighting up in the light of all the pods from the fleet bring sent off into space. All of the Unani Ground Military with it.

Cartax gave a nod. A blue light suddenly turned on inside the pod. "Alright, get ready!"he shouted over a loud buzz that sounded in the pod before it was shot off into space like a bullet towards the Artifact.

This was it, the moment everybody has been waiting for; the united races of the Galaxy would enter the Artifact, kill the Shadows inside it, and capture it to ensure that the Shadows did not use it to destroy them all.

But sadly; it would not be so.

"Emperor! We're nearing the Artifact!" A Juggernaut aboard the pod that held Justinian and his Crusaders stated, looking out of a window on the speeding pod "Impacting in 3...2...1..."

Everybody both inside the pod and outside the pod awaited for the pod to crash into the Artifact; the first of many to come. But what had actually happened was unforeseen by any of the races other than the devious and vile Shadows that had set it up. The pod impacted against the station with a titanic amount of force, but instead of breaking through; it just blew up against the massive weapon, barely even scratching the structure's paint.

"Emperor!" One of the New Covenant captains exclaimed in horror, watching the scene with unbelieving eyes

"It's a trap! The Artifact's mothergently-carressing invincible!" Shibungi shouted, shocked by the sudden turn of events "Tell the Sky King to-"

Shibungi stopped when he noticed that the next to go was the Sky King's spinning supersonic Siegfried; which was far too close to the Artifact to stop now.

"FFFFUUUUUUUU!" Shibungi shouted, as the Siegfried impacted against the Artifact in a similar manner; exploding in a giant pink explosion empowered by the fusioning Sakuradite inside it, this time slightly denting the structure

The same thing happened to Orion company, Isiah, the Shazcoi and the thousands of MIDAF soldiers in pods unleashed by the Unani military; impacting against the structure thinking that they would be able to bypass the indestructible metal plating around it in a similar manner to other space stations. It was unknown who had survived and who didn't at that moment, but Isiah was the first to come out of the giant cloud of debris created by the impacts; who immediately exclaimed 'Chaos Element! Unknown Tormentor Powers! Grigori! Teleportation!' as if trying to justify how he could have possibly survived; his rambling somehow managing to be heard by everybody in the area despite the lack of sound in space.

The Sky King was next to come out, with an intact and still alive Storm King by his side; everybody else in his Siegfried was dead, but they survived because the Sky King, in his own words, is 'goddamn immortal, and Ikki was only person in the pod that I actually gave a excrement about'. After that, a few men of Orion Company was seen floating in space in their suits; managing to survive due to them impacting against the structure in a drop ship; and not in a pod like the rest.

"Why the gently-carress did you just crash the damn thing into the Artifact?!" An SAS trooper shouted through the comms at the pilot

"Everybody else was doing it! How the gently-carress could I know that this would happen?!" The pilot shouted back

"We were in a goddamn dropship! Not a drop pod! Even if that thing wasn't made of gently-carressing adamantium; we wouldn't have gotten through anyway!" The SAS trooper said

"...Arse." The pilot replied, before closing off his comms and doggie-paddling through space away from his comrades

As for the Shazcoi and the Crusaders...
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Tobbs on May 29, 2012, 04:05:04 PM
The Shazcoi floated through space, completely unharmed from their pod blowing up, but spinning a bit. "Well...that went well..."Cartax said sarcastically.

"How the hell are we even alive?"Mihaj said in the radio.

"Plot, Mihaj. Plot."Cartax responded casually. "It can protect against the most unbelievably dangerous things."

"But how does-"Mihaj started.

"We're alive now, Mihaj; don't start complaining!"Cartax snapped at him. "All you need to know is that we are goddamn immortal as long as our deaths doesn't belong to the plot! That's the privilege of being main characters!"

"I'm hungry."Goz said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Shut the gently-carress up, Ketantem."Cartax groaned.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: LordNecross on May 29, 2012, 04:05:45 PM
The Juggernauts floated in space, along with the Emperor.

"What now Emperor?" One Juggernaut questioned.

Justinian grab a piece of scrap metal and flung it at the indestructible station. It hit the structure with a soundless thump.

After no result from that,Justinian gave a shrug. "I got nothing, Damn Xenos technology."

The Crusader Juggernauts continued their slow float in space.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 29, 2012, 06:52:12 PM
Suddenly a shadow passed over the survivors...which turned out to be a Sha---

"Really narrator!?" yelled Cartax "A shadow that ends up being a Shadow!? This is unbelievably sappy! I demand quality! I de----!"

Suddenly Cartax's head spontaneuosly exploded, splattering Goz with pieces of brain matter.

"You want quality!? There's your damn quality, because I just made your head explode!" yelled the Narrator "Now all of you shut up, I'm the narrator and I'll tell the story any damn way I want!"

The others grumbled and awaited the narrator to continue his silly nonsense.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Tobbs on May 29, 2012, 07:00:38 PM
"Dammit!"said the pieces of Cartax's head. "Can someone piece me together? I can't see!"he yelled somehow, and the Shazcoi started floating after the small pieces that got spread out in space and attempting to puzzle them back together.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on May 29, 2012, 07:22:45 PM
"Dammit!"said the pieces of Cartax's head. "Can someone piece me together? I can't see!"he yelled somehow, and the Shazcoi started floating after the small pieces that got spread out in space and attempting to puzzle them back together.
Suddenly, the Hooded Man came out of nowhere; piecing together Cartax's in two seconds flat with his unbelievably fast and dexterous fingers.

Cartax looked at the Hooded Man with appreciation, "Wow, thanks! But seriously, who are yo-"

Before Cartax could finish the sentence, the Hooded Man disappeared; leaving behind a small key shaped like a sword with a crescent moon keychain attached to it behind.

Jij picked up the key, looking at the keychain with curiosity. "Oh my god...I've figured out who he-!" She began

Unfortunately, before she could finish her sentence; the overhead Shadow Dreadnought did an impossible 180 degree turn and aimed it's main cannon towards her. Oddly enough, despite the fact that the Shadows had never even spoken before, she knew what the ship was telling her.

"Bitch, let them figure out by themselves. Goddamn major hint right there." The ship spoke, with only her being able to hear it
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 29, 2012, 07:39:01 PM
Suddenly, the Hooded Man came out of nowhere; piecing together Cartax's in two seconds flat with his unbelievably fast and dexterous fingers.

Cartax looked at the Hooded Man with appreciation, "Wow, thanks! But seriously, who are yo-"

Before Cartax could finish the sentence, the Hooded Man disappeared; leaving behind a small key shaped like a sword with a crescent moon keychain attached to it behind.

Jij picked up the key, looking at the keychain with curiosity. "Oh my god...I've figured out who he-!" She began

Unfortunately, before she could finish her sentence; the overhead Shadow Dreadnought did an impossible 180 degree turn and aimed it's main cannon towards her. Oddly enough, despite the fact that the Shadows had never even spoken before, she knew what the ship was telling her.

"Bitch, let them figure out by themselves. Goddamn major hint right there." The ship spoke, with only her being able to hear it

The Narrator turned, figuratively speaking, to the Dreadnought "Dammit Dreadnought, you are ruining my scene!" he yelled, before magically plucking Justinian and repeatedly bashing him against the hull in a primal fury.

"Oh gawd, someone help me!" screamed the Emperor "Agh! Help! Juggernaughts! To arms! I am being beaten by a sadistic narrator! Argh!"
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Ragez on May 29, 2012, 07:53:33 PM
The Narrator turned, figuratively speaking, to the Dreadnought "Dammit Dreadnought, you are ruining my scene!" he yelled, before magically plucking Justinian and repeatedly bashing him against the hull in a primal fury.

"Oh gawd, someone help me!" screamed the Emperor "Agh! Help! Juggernaughts! To arms! I am being beaten by a sadistic narrator! Argh!"
"Behold, Mongrels!"

Suddenly, the Emperor was chained up by a bunch of long chains and thrown into the wall; releasing the Narrator's hold on him.

"What? Who did that?!" The Narrator shouted "Nobody can interfere with me, those are the rules!" He added, before turning to see a man garbed in golden armor with a huge golden portal behind him that had the chains retracting into it near the Dreadnought

"I am the rules!" Emir Issa II said, with King George XIV, and King Lami the Singer riding upon Draconus the Cyber Dragon next to him
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: LordNecross on May 29, 2012, 07:58:34 PM
"Behold, Mongrels!"

Suddenly, the Emperor was chained up by a bunch of long chains and thrown into the wall; releasing the Narrator's hold on him.

"What? Who did that?!" The Narrator shouted "Nobody can interfere with me, those are the rules!" He added, before turning to see a man garbed in golden armor with a huge golden portal behind him that had the chains retracting into it near the Dreadnought

"I am the rules!" Emir Issa II said, with King George XIV, and King Lami the Singer riding upon Draconus the Cyber Dragon next to him
Breaking his chains he booted the Emir back through the portal and closed it.

"Get back to your own game! We are busy with our futuristic ridiculousness!" Justinian said.

"Now back to thinking on how to breach this ridiculous artifacts hull." Justinian said as he floated around in space.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on May 29, 2012, 08:09:49 PM
Breaking his chains he booted the Emir back through the portal and closed it.

"Get back to your own game! We are busy with our futuristic ridiculousness!" Justinian said.

"Now back to thinking on how to breach this ridiculous artifacts hull." Justinian said as he floated around in space.

"What about us?" asked King George, sitting upon Dragoncus.

"Fine. Know what? Just stay, I don't care anymore" said the Narrator, before grabbing the Emperor and banging him against the hull a few more times for good measure.

"Mongrel Narrator, what about me! I don't want to sit here for all eternity!" said Emir Issa.

"FINE!" yelled the Narrator, before he flung Emir Issa into Cartax.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: True Evangelion on June 12, 2012, 10:20:34 PM
Suddenly, before Isiah, who is floating in space, a 48-winged figure appeared in front of him. Purple and red armor covered him, and he had 3 halos above his head.

"Isiah.......you must go to the Dagobah system. There, you will find the path to become an Angelicyte!"


"Also, you will find my Military commander. He's been playing lots of Eroges lately, and he ran away to play them."

Before Isiah could ask anything, the figure faded.


"What the gently-carress?"


>>MEANWHILE, AT THE CENTER OF THE GALAXY<<

A gigantic space ship, several times the size of the sun floats. It is the Himmel, a giant space-platform created by the Angelicytes and a few other races. It's main weapon is the Judgement field, which smites the enemy with an energy blast of Epic proportions. It also has the ability to tow planets.

"Do it....." The commander said


"B-But That's crazy! That's never been done before!" A crewman said

"JUST gently-carressING DO IT!" The commander yelled back.


In tow was not a planet, but a gigantic Keg of alcohol. They poured it all on a sun while setting off the judgement field
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: killer rin on June 14, 2012, 03:11:34 PM
As the Armada faced it last moments...they beheld a wonderous sight. The Artifact began to light up...building up a charge...its light glowing brighter and even repelling the nearby Shadows...

"They did it" whispered Nelson "Praise God in heaven...they did it"

The light began to grow stronger...

(Play Rin's song, might as well complete the ME Theme :P)
As the light went off, a reddish colour started to emanate from the artifact, As the light passed through every ones ships, explosions were heard coming from the drive cores, instantly destroying and deactivating the armadas ability to Warp, Dimensional Shift, FTL, and Slipspace. The Reapers The Shadows were instantly destroyed in the process, leaving the group dead in space.
Title: Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
Post by: Grif101 on July 02, 2012, 07:43:28 AM
"The two other embassies we have are for the Edolas and the Unani."  Alina said.  "Seeing your relations with them we are not expecting that you would want yours by them.  Understanding that we can let you build at a different location within the Capitol."

Fergus then crushed Alina's head with his armoured hand, her heading breaking like an egg.

"Unacceptabe" said Fergus, before vaporizing the Bridgend personnel with a Heavy Plasma Cannon. Suddenly however Fergus turned around and spotted Admiral Raimus staring at him.

"Hello Comrade Fergus" he said, before pulling the fabled Sword of Lenin out of his ass "Let us fight, and end this".