Author Topic: * of the IV : Comedy Edition  (Read 11528 times)

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Offline Tobbs

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #25 on: April 29, 2012, 12:31:41 AM »
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Suddenly an oversized armored car with They see me rollin' by Chamillionaire playing loudly came crashing through the still hording hippies, spraying blood and teeth all over the place as the tree-huggers got crushed under the wheels. The car drifted and stopped with its side turned to the group of protagonists, spraying gore all over them. A hatch on top of the tank-like car opened and up popped Mihaj Tzölem from the Shazcoi. "SUP!"he screamed with a raised hand.

Keep calm and move along.

Offline killer rin

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #26 on: April 29, 2012, 03:01:45 AM »
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Dragoncus then stirred, before eating the strange alien whole.

"Dragoncus! No! Spit that creature out! You don't know where it's been, or if it's even healthy for you!"
The Fe'Juk came out with no trouble, looking disgusted "WHAT THE HELL!" He replied "I'm going to go straight to the Unanian Embassy and tell them to throw you all in prison!" waving his arm in the air as he began to float, flying away into the distance. Within minutes alarms went off throughout the city, speaker-phones telling of the criminals location

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #27 on: April 29, 2012, 03:45:21 AM »
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The Fe'Juk came out with no trouble, looking disgusted "WHAT THE HELL!" He replied "I'm going to go straight to the Unanian Embassy and tell them to throw you all in prison!" waving his arm in the air as he began to float, flying away into the distance. Within minutes alarms went off throughout the city, speaker-phones telling of the criminals location

King George turned to the others "All right, now everyone on Dragoncus! He won't eat you, and I don't care what he smells like! You, Tzolem! Get on too!"
I'm back people...


Offline Tobbs

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #28 on: April 29, 2012, 10:46:53 AM »
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King George turned to the others "All right, now everyone on Dragoncus! He won't eat you, and I don't care what he smells like! You, Tzolem! Get on too!"
"Nope.avi."Mihaj said, before his face twisted into the grotesque grin that was the Troll face, and then shot off like a rocket in the sky riding something that looked like a mix between a cat and a poptart.

Keep calm and move along.

Offline Ragez

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #29 on: April 29, 2012, 12:47:58 PM »
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King George turned to the others "All right, now everyone on Dragoncus! He won't eat you, and I don't care what he smells like! You, Tzolem! Get on too!"
"I would have preferred getting on the majestic-looking toast feline, at least it wasn't a mongrel." Issa said, teleporting onto Dragoncus
"You accept darkness, yet choose to live in the light. So why is it that you loathe us who teeter on the edge of nothing? We, who were turned away by both light and dark - never given a choice?"

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #30 on: April 30, 2012, 02:11:49 AM »
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"I would have preferred getting on the majestic-looking toast feline, at least it wasn't a mongrel." Issa said, teleporting onto Dragoncus

As the others got on, Dragoncus took off into space. King George commented "How odd we didn't die from suffocation yet. Normally there is no air in space."

Suddenly the TF2 Heavy blipped into existence next to Issa, yelling "Sandvich!" before punching him off into space.
I'm back people...


Offline Ragez

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #31 on: May 03, 2012, 07:31:01 PM »
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As the others got on, Dragoncus took off into space. King George commented "How odd we didn't die from suffocation yet. Normally there is no air in space."

Suddenly the TF2 Heavy blipped into existence next to Issa, yelling "Sandvich!" before punching him off into space.
Issa suddenly turned into golden dust particles, before reforming behind the Heavy; stabbing him with a katana.

"You gave me a black eye! You mongrel!" Issa shouted
"You accept darkness, yet choose to live in the light. So why is it that you loathe us who teeter on the edge of nothing? We, who were turned away by both light and dark - never given a choice?"

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #32 on: May 04, 2012, 01:53:29 AM »
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Issa suddenly turned into golden dust particles, before reforming behind the Heavy; stabbing him with a katana.

"You gave me a black eye! You mongrel!" Issa shouted

The Heavy turned around, already dying, tears in his eyes. He said with faltering breaths "All I...wanted...was Sandvich" before falling over, turning into space dust and floating away.

King Lami burst out crying "That was...the most beautiful...and most cruel thing I ever saw!" he said before burying his face on King George, crying uncontrollably.
I'm back people...


Offline True Evangelion

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #33 on: May 04, 2012, 05:36:15 AM »
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>>MEANWHILE, AT THE LEGION OF EVIL<<

A bunch of celestial beings were arguing with each other. Some from one world, some from another. All trying to think of plans to ruin everyone else's fun.

"FOR THE LAST TIME NEAH! PLANTING TERRIBLE MUSIC INSIDE THEIR BRAIN IS NOT A GOOD PLAN!" One said.

"What about your's!  Your plan was to buy out their empires by cloning a single unit of money!" Another said

One stood up and banged on the table, with a glass of wine in hand.

"Everyone calm down! Silence! Satanail! Pariah! Stop Hitting each other with your glasses!"

The announcer sat back down, hands folded

"As we all know, we can't stand the fun and hilarity those pesky 'protagonists' have, so our common goal is to eliminate them. Necrois! Do you have any plans?"

A being with a black halo and devil wings leaned back, placing his feet on the table

"I have none, I really can't do anything anymore anyway after being perma-sealed by those damn angelicytes. I'm just here for the entertainment"

The announcer facepalmed.

"Anyone else?"

One person stood up

"I have a plan!"

"Sammael, what is it?"




Offline killer rin

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #34 on: May 07, 2012, 08:05:09 PM »
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Suddenly the others noticed that the roof itself was being breached, with multiple holes being made.

"Damn! These rebels are persistant! We now appear to be surrounded." growled the Gu'ush, preparing for the next wave.

The holes became breached, and the others instantly aimed their weapons up, but were surprised to see instead of rebels Commonwealth Marines rapelling down, firing as they went. The remaining Croiz attackers were momentarily stunned...which proved fatal as the others concentrated their fire, pinning them down.

The Marine Captain yelled "Secure the delegates and neutralize the hostile intruders! Go! Go! Go!" as the Marines took up superior firing positions, while others moved to support the bodyguards directly.
Suddenly as soon as the hole was made, Oxygen rushed out of the cabin, Depressurizing the entire ship, sending the marines flying towards the star systems sun

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #35 on: May 09, 2012, 07:07:21 AM »
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Suddenly as soon as the hole was made, Oxygen rushed out of the cabin, Depressurizing the entire ship, sending the marines flying towards the star systems sun


Emir Issa looked upon the scene with curiosity. While he was doing that, King George grabbed the crying King Lami, and smacked him saying "Get ahold of yourself King Lami!" before smacking him around some for good measure.

"Gah! Alright, I'm stable! Sane! I've stopped crying!"

"Good, now pay attention. I want to watch these men and see how long their oxygen lasts."

The others watched on, before seeing another strange sight. Emperor Justinian was propelled out of the station, along with his Crusaders, swords raised high.

Emperor Justinian could be heard saying in the distance "Come Brothers! Let us float on to glory and slay this vile beast!"

"I say" said King George "Are they trying to attack those poor fellows?"

"Of course not Mongrel" said Emir Issa "They're attack that giant thing out there" he said, pointing to a large object to their right.

The giant object was none other than Fruit gently-carresser Prime.

Spoiler for Fruit gently-carresser Prime:
I'm back people...


Offline LordNecross

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #36 on: May 09, 2012, 07:22:38 AM »
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The others watched on, before seeing another strange sight. Emperor Justinian was propelled out of the station, along with his Crusaders, swords raised high.

Emperor Justinian could be heard saying in the distance "Come Brothers! Let us float on to glory and slay this vile beast!"

"I say" said King George "Are they trying to attack those poor fellows?"

"Of course not Mongrel" said Emir Issa "They're attack that giant thing out there" he said, pointing to a large object to their right.

The giant object was none other than Fruit gently-carresser Prime.

Spoiler for Fruit gently-carresser Prime:


The Crusaders began to sing Hymns of Glory about their leader, and how far up he could plant his boot in any Enemy's ass.

"Take this and Take that!" The Emperor swung his sword, which Destroyed entire planets as he swung the blade.

"Damnable Beast! I Seem to be having some trouble hitting this massive creature....All those innocent Croiz lives that were extinguished.....I didn't mean to cut those planets up." The Emperor said as he shed a tear thinking of the poor Xenos, and how they would have to find some where else to breed like rabbits.

What the Emperor didn't know is that the Planets were also Fruit, and The Fruit gently-carresser made its way toward the giant Slices, as it began to violate the Innocent fruit with its pelvic thrusts.

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #37 on: May 09, 2012, 07:29:48 AM »
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The Crusaders began to sing Hymns of Glory about their leader, and how far up he could plant his boot in any Enemy's ass.

"Take this and Take that!" The Emperor swung his sword, which Destroyed entire planets as he swung the blade.

"Damnable Beast! I Seem to be having some trouble hitting this massive creature....All those innocent Croiz lives that were extinguished.....I didn't mean to cut those planets up." The Emperor said as he shed a tear thinking of the poor Xenos, and how they would have to find some where else to breed like rabbits.

What the Emperor didn't know is that the Planets were also Fruit, and The Fruit gently-carresser made its way toward the giant Slices, as it began to violate the Innocent fruit with its pelvic thrusts.

The Emperor looked upon this with horror "What vile act is this!? How dare this damnable beast violate such innocent fruit-planets! Come brothers! Let us first castrate, then destroy this abomination!"

The Emperor and his Crusaders floated towards Fruit gently-carresser Prime, yelling defiance and vengeance. However, a swarm of Fruit gently-carressers the size of a galactic arm flew to their master's defence, engulfing the Emperor and his Crusaders.
I'm back people...


Offline LordNecross

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #38 on: May 10, 2012, 05:11:33 AM »
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The Emperor and his Crusaders floated towards Fruit gently-carresser Prime, yelling defiance and vengeance. However, a swarm of Fruit gently-carressers the size of a galactic arm flew to their master's defence, engulfing the Emperor and his Crusaders.

((This song must be played FOREVER!))
The Emperor said one thing," I'D LIKE SOME POUND CAKE!"  One of the Paladins said the rights of Holy Pound Cake, and the Pound cake was summoned.

Justinian Om Nom'd to his hearts Content, then a Godly Power fist appeared on each hand as he began punching though the massive amounts of robot, the Power of the Pound Cake Flowing through him, the Blessed Mana from Heaven.

He Punched his way straight through as he headed toward the Massive Fruit gently-carressing machine, flying through space at high speeds.

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #39 on: May 10, 2012, 08:25:34 PM »
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((This song must be played FOREVER!))
The Emperor said one thing," I'D LIKE SOME POUND CAKE!"  One of the Paladins said the rights of Holy Pound Cake, and the Pound cake was summoned.

Justinian Om Nom'd to his hearts Content, then a Godly Power fist appeared on each hand as he began punching though the massive amounts of robot, the Power of the Pound Cake Flowing through him, the Blessed Mana from Heaven.

He Punched his way straight through as he headed toward the Massive Fruit gently-carressing machine, flying through space at high speeds.


Suddenly, the Emperor saw ten million light years away, a little alien shopping at a little market. A vile Xenos! But then, the Emperor looked behind him, and saw another horror. Coming at high speeds towards him was vile democracy.

The Emperor had to make a choice...fight the vile Fruit gently-carressers, the vile Xenos or the vile Democracy. The Emperor was torn on what to do.
I'm back people...


Offline mikethor007

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #40 on: May 10, 2012, 08:34:38 PM »
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So torn was The Emperor that he divided himself into three equal parts with a third of his power. One went after the Fruit gently-carressers, one after the vile Xenos and one after the vile Democracy. Unbeknownst to him, his power had also been divided by three. Not to mention that all of his part now had the height of a dwarf.
"A toaster is just a death ray with a smaller power supply!"
Toaster

"gently-carressing clouds, sometimes they evaporate."
Forum poster somewhere on the internet

Offline Ragez

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #41 on: May 29, 2012, 03:54:46 PM »
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"Sir, Orion Company ready to deploy!"

Nelson nodded "Launch!" he ordered.

Down below decks the pilots saw the greenlight flash on, before the whirling sound of the atmosphere being evacuated filled the area, before dissapating.

"Orion Company, you are cleared for launch. Godspeed out there."

"Confirmed control, deploying now."

The dropships left their launch bay, and along with the other strike teams, headed for the Artifact.


The Emperor addressed his squad of elite Juggernauts from the Crimson Angel Chapters first company.

"Brothers! We now deploy against the Xenos! The foul creatures known as the Shadows! Their Evil has no limits and now we bring the light of the Lord Almighty to them! We shall send them in the abyss, as Hell shall not have them and neither will Heaven! This is the curse all Xenos Suffer! Now We go on to purge them for the good of all the Faithful, for the Good of Humanity!"  Justinian raised his crackling powerfist into the air as the Juggernaughts gave a shout of exaltation to the Lord.

They Boarded a Drop pod, The Strike Cruiser got in close to the Artifact and fired the pod at high speeds to the Artifact where it would impact and offload its dangerous cargo.


"This is it The chance we have been waiting for!" A MIDAF Alliance representative responded over FleetComm "MIDAF Alliance out! We Will see you on the other side" A Fe'juk finished over Armada communication as pods shot off the sides of every MIDAF Alliance vessel, it switching to auto pilot to auto-pilot, merging with FleetComm allowing the AI's within FleetComm to take command and still enact war upon the Shadow ships in space. Rivera came up on communications "My Fleet is ready to board. I'll see you all on the ground" "Alright, We'll keep you covered up here" Wallace replied "We wont let any shadows time to board the structure. I'll see you when your done." "Noted, Sir" Rivera finished, his entire fleet lighting up in the light of all the pods from the fleet bring sent off into space. All of the Unani Ground Military with it.


Cartax gave a nod. A blue light suddenly turned on inside the pod. "Alright, get ready!"he shouted over a loud buzz that sounded in the pod before it was shot off into space like a bullet towards the Artifact.


This was it, the moment everybody has been waiting for; the united races of the Galaxy would enter the Artifact, kill the Shadows inside it, and capture it to ensure that the Shadows did not use it to destroy them all.

But sadly; it would not be so.

"Emperor! We're nearing the Artifact!" A Juggernaut aboard the pod that held Justinian and his Crusaders stated, looking out of a window on the speeding pod "Impacting in 3...2...1..."

Everybody both inside the pod and outside the pod awaited for the pod to crash into the Artifact; the first of many to come. But what had actually happened was unforeseen by any of the races other than the devious and vile Shadows that had set it up. The pod impacted against the station with a titanic amount of force, but instead of breaking through; it just blew up against the massive weapon, barely even scratching the structure's paint.

"Emperor!" One of the New Covenant captains exclaimed in horror, watching the scene with unbelieving eyes

"It's a trap! The Artifact's mothergently-carressing invincible!" Shibungi shouted, shocked by the sudden turn of events "Tell the Sky King to-"

Shibungi stopped when he noticed that the next to go was the Sky King's spinning supersonic Siegfried; which was far too close to the Artifact to stop now.

"FFFFUUUUUUUU!" Shibungi shouted, as the Siegfried impacted against the Artifact in a similar manner; exploding in a giant pink explosion empowered by the fusioning Sakuradite inside it, this time slightly denting the structure

The same thing happened to Orion company, Isiah, the Shazcoi and the thousands of MIDAF soldiers in pods unleashed by the Unani military; impacting against the structure thinking that they would be able to bypass the indestructible metal plating around it in a similar manner to other space stations. It was unknown who had survived and who didn't at that moment, but Isiah was the first to come out of the giant cloud of debris created by the impacts; who immediately exclaimed 'Chaos Element! Unknown Tormentor Powers! Grigori! Teleportation!' as if trying to justify how he could have possibly survived; his rambling somehow managing to be heard by everybody in the area despite the lack of sound in space.

The Sky King was next to come out, with an intact and still alive Storm King by his side; everybody else in his Siegfried was dead, but they survived because the Sky King, in his own words, is 'goddamn immortal, and Ikki was only person in the pod that I actually gave a excrement about'. After that, a few men of Orion Company was seen floating in space in their suits; managing to survive due to them impacting against the structure in a drop ship; and not in a pod like the rest.

"Why the gently-carress did you just crash the damn thing into the Artifact?!" An SAS trooper shouted through the comms at the pilot

"Everybody else was doing it! How the gently-carress could I know that this would happen?!" The pilot shouted back

"We were in a goddamn dropship! Not a drop pod! Even if that thing wasn't made of gently-carressing adamantium; we wouldn't have gotten through anyway!" The SAS trooper said

"...Arse." The pilot replied, before closing off his comms and doggie-paddling through space away from his comrades

As for the Shazcoi and the Crusaders...
"You accept darkness, yet choose to live in the light. So why is it that you loathe us who teeter on the edge of nothing? We, who were turned away by both light and dark - never given a choice?"

Offline Tobbs

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #42 on: May 29, 2012, 04:05:04 PM »
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The Shazcoi floated through space, completely unharmed from their pod blowing up, but spinning a bit. "Well...that went well..."Cartax said sarcastically.

"How the hell are we even alive?"Mihaj said in the radio.

"Plot, Mihaj. Plot."Cartax responded casually. "It can protect against the most unbelievably dangerous things."

"But how does-"Mihaj started.

"We're alive now, Mihaj; don't start complaining!"Cartax snapped at him. "All you need to know is that we are goddamn immortal as long as our deaths doesn't belong to the plot! That's the privilege of being main characters!"

"I'm hungry."Goz said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Shut the gently-carress up, Ketantem."Cartax groaned.

Keep calm and move along.

Offline LordNecross

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #43 on: May 29, 2012, 04:05:45 PM »
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The Juggernauts floated in space, along with the Emperor.

"What now Emperor?" One Juggernaut questioned.

Justinian grab a piece of scrap metal and flung it at the indestructible station. It hit the structure with a soundless thump.

After no result from that,Justinian gave a shrug. "I got nothing, Damn Xenos technology."

The Crusader Juggernauts continued their slow float in space.

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #44 on: May 29, 2012, 06:52:12 PM »
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Suddenly a shadow passed over the survivors...which turned out to be a Sha---

"Really narrator!?" yelled Cartax "A shadow that ends up being a Shadow!? This is unbelievably sappy! I demand quality! I de----!"

Suddenly Cartax's head spontaneuosly exploded, splattering Goz with pieces of brain matter.

"You want quality!? There's your damn quality, because I just made your head explode!" yelled the Narrator "Now all of you shut up, I'm the narrator and I'll tell the story any damn way I want!"

The others grumbled and awaited the narrator to continue his silly nonsense.
I'm back people...


Offline Tobbs

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #45 on: May 29, 2012, 07:00:38 PM »
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"Dammit!"said the pieces of Cartax's head. "Can someone piece me together? I can't see!"he yelled somehow, and the Shazcoi started floating after the small pieces that got spread out in space and attempting to puzzle them back together.

Keep calm and move along.

Offline Ragez

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #46 on: May 29, 2012, 07:22:45 PM »
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"Dammit!"said the pieces of Cartax's head. "Can someone piece me together? I can't see!"he yelled somehow, and the Shazcoi started floating after the small pieces that got spread out in space and attempting to puzzle them back together.
Suddenly, the Hooded Man came out of nowhere; piecing together Cartax's in two seconds flat with his unbelievably fast and dexterous fingers.

Cartax looked at the Hooded Man with appreciation, "Wow, thanks! But seriously, who are yo-"

Before Cartax could finish the sentence, the Hooded Man disappeared; leaving behind a small key shaped like a sword with a crescent moon keychain attached to it behind.

Jij picked up the key, looking at the keychain with curiosity. "Oh my god...I've figured out who he-!" She began

Unfortunately, before she could finish her sentence; the overhead Shadow Dreadnought did an impossible 180 degree turn and aimed it's main cannon towards her. Oddly enough, despite the fact that the Shadows had never even spoken before, she knew what the ship was telling her.

"Bitch, let them figure out by themselves. Goddamn major hint right there." The ship spoke, with only her being able to hear it
"You accept darkness, yet choose to live in the light. So why is it that you loathe us who teeter on the edge of nothing? We, who were turned away by both light and dark - never given a choice?"

Offline Grif101

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #47 on: May 29, 2012, 07:39:01 PM »
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Suddenly, the Hooded Man came out of nowhere; piecing together Cartax's in two seconds flat with his unbelievably fast and dexterous fingers.

Cartax looked at the Hooded Man with appreciation, "Wow, thanks! But seriously, who are yo-"

Before Cartax could finish the sentence, the Hooded Man disappeared; leaving behind a small key shaped like a sword with a crescent moon keychain attached to it behind.

Jij picked up the key, looking at the keychain with curiosity. "Oh my god...I've figured out who he-!" She began

Unfortunately, before she could finish her sentence; the overhead Shadow Dreadnought did an impossible 180 degree turn and aimed it's main cannon towards her. Oddly enough, despite the fact that the Shadows had never even spoken before, she knew what the ship was telling her.

"Bitch, let them figure out by themselves. Goddamn major hint right there." The ship spoke, with only her being able to hear it

The Narrator turned, figuratively speaking, to the Dreadnought "Dammit Dreadnought, you are ruining my scene!" he yelled, before magically plucking Justinian and repeatedly bashing him against the hull in a primal fury.

"Oh gawd, someone help me!" screamed the Emperor "Agh! Help! Juggernaughts! To arms! I am being beaten by a sadistic narrator! Argh!"
I'm back people...


Offline Ragez

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #48 on: May 29, 2012, 07:53:33 PM »
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The Narrator turned, figuratively speaking, to the Dreadnought "Dammit Dreadnought, you are ruining my scene!" he yelled, before magically plucking Justinian and repeatedly bashing him against the hull in a primal fury.

"Oh gawd, someone help me!" screamed the Emperor "Agh! Help! Juggernaughts! To arms! I am being beaten by a sadistic narrator! Argh!"
"Behold, Mongrels!"

Suddenly, the Emperor was chained up by a bunch of long chains and thrown into the wall; releasing the Narrator's hold on him.

"What? Who did that?!" The Narrator shouted "Nobody can interfere with me, those are the rules!" He added, before turning to see a man garbed in golden armor with a huge golden portal behind him that had the chains retracting into it near the Dreadnought

"I am the rules!" Emir Issa II said, with King George XIV, and King Lami the Singer riding upon Draconus the Cyber Dragon next to him
"You accept darkness, yet choose to live in the light. So why is it that you loathe us who teeter on the edge of nothing? We, who were turned away by both light and dark - never given a choice?"

Offline LordNecross

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Re: * of the IV : Comedy Edition
« Reply #49 on: May 29, 2012, 07:58:34 PM »
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"Behold, Mongrels!"

Suddenly, the Emperor was chained up by a bunch of long chains and thrown into the wall; releasing the Narrator's hold on him.

"What? Who did that?!" The Narrator shouted "Nobody can interfere with me, those are the rules!" He added, before turning to see a man garbed in golden armor with a huge golden portal behind him that had the chains retracting into it near the Dreadnought

"I am the rules!" Emir Issa II said, with King George XIV, and King Lami the Singer riding upon Draconus the Cyber Dragon next to him
Breaking his chains he booted the Emir back through the portal and closed it.

"Get back to your own game! We are busy with our futuristic ridiculousness!" Justinian said.

"Now back to thinking on how to breach this ridiculous artifacts hull." Justinian said as he floated around in space.